Monday, 19 January 2015

OGR 1 "From Script To Screen"


  1. OGR 19/01/2015

    Evening early bird - and that's a very charming blog banner - and suddenly your blog is filled with lightness and optimism - how pleasing!

    Okay - if I'm being completely honest, I don't think you have an actual story here - and the story you do have requires a set-up in which a) you have to establish a relationship between two sisters b) that the relationship isn't great c) that the good sister has a lover and d) that the bad sister is jealous. The audience has to understand all of this very quickly. Also - it appears that your camera isn't in your script anymore - at least it's not mentioned? And likewise the restaurant...

    I can't help feeling that you may have folded in a level of complexity here that has eclipsed some of the mechanics of the brief and is swerving the challenge of your story components.

    You've also got no conflict here - because the evil sister is a passive by-stander throughout. I get the mood you're going for - it almost feels like a fable or fairytale - and it's clear you want an uplifting, soul-enriching ending about unconditional love; but does it need magic spells? Isn't the kinship between a lion-tamer and an actual lion beautiful enough?

    Lion tamer / camera / restaurant ? How does it all fit with your premise above?